My Subdued Inner Girl
It is possible to be "one of the guys" and still enjoy all of the
things I am about to list. Moral of the story: screw gender roles.
1. Cell phones.
I'm constantly texting my friends, family, and boyfriend.
Bro, do you always have to text me?
I openly make fun of it and don't believe eighty percent of
what I read in this ludicrous magazine, and yet, I still read it
anyway for some reason.
Sometimes I see pretty girls on the train, then they open that magazine,
and it's an instant boner kill.
Um...can I tell you a secret? I occasionally peruse Cosmo too.
Damn it, Cotton! Oh well, at least you have enough of a personality
to make up for it.
3. Desperate Housewives.
It's my most guilty pleasure. I've watched every season up until Season 7, some even multiple times.
It's a show about bored suburbian housewives who wreak all sorts of unnecessary petty drama—how much more trashy and trivial can a show be?
Oh shit, it's the part where they're taking Gabrielle's baby away...no, I am not crying.
They're especially fun when I have somebody awesome accompanying me, such as my mom.
5. Dressing Up.
Who says you can't be nerdy, boyish, and awkward, and still look hot?
6. Wine & Chocolate.
Yes, I am quite the lush. Nah, kidding. I am a raging chocoholic though. Gotta get my daily fix.
God, Ariel. You dirty hipster. You and your fancy wines and chocolates.
OM NOM NOM.