My Subdued Inner Girl

It is possible to be "one of the guys" and still enjoy all of the things I am about to list. Moral of the story: screw gender roles.

1. Cell phones.

I'm constantly texting my friends, family, and boyfriend.

Bro, do you always have to text me?

2. Cosmopolitan.

I openly make fun of it and don't believe eighty percent of what I read in this ludicrous magazine, and yet, I still read it anyway for some reason.

Sometimes I see pretty girls on the train, then they open that magazine, and it's an instant boner kill.
Um...can I tell you a secret? I occasionally peruse Cosmo too.
Damn it, Cotton! Oh well, at least you have enough of a personality to make up for it.

3. Desperate Housewives.

It's my most guilty pleasure. I've watched every season up until Season 7, some even multiple times.

It's a show about bored suburbian housewives who wreak all sorts of unnecessary petty drama—how much more trashy and trivial can a show be? Oh shit, it's the part where they're taking Gabrielle's baby, I am not crying.

4. Mani-Pedis.

They're especially fun when I have somebody awesome accompanying me, such as my mom.

5. Dressing Up.

Who says you can't be nerdy, boyish, and awkward, and still look hot?

6. Wine & Chocolate.

Yes, I am quite the lush. Nah, kidding. I am a raging chocoholic though. Gotta get my daily fix.

God, Ariel. You dirty hipster. You and your fancy wines and chocolates.